


A Permanent Solution

by Spooked_Leaf (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, No Smut, Other, Suicide, do not read if suicide is triggering, dont
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:56:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7437567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Spooked_Leaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>vent started on June 23, inspired by Korpuskat's "Sweet Release"</p><p>leaf has a not fun day</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Permanent Solution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Korpuskat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korpuskat/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sweet Release](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6829594) by [Korpuskat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korpuskat/pseuds/Korpuskat). 



> i don't know if this is too heavily inspired (is that a thing??), please tell me if it is and I will remove it. I apologize in advance if it is

Leaf  
Spooked_Leaf (AO3)  
June 23, 2016

  
A permanent solution  
(This does not at all follow canon of I&I)

This was it. Everything they worked for, all for... This. They were a disappointment, a stain on life's flawless silk. And there was a way to clean that stain, a permanent end to the mess. It was so simple, too. So easy. Lord Ren wouldn't object. Cecil might, but, oh, that doesn't matter. None of it does. All that matters is that life wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. The world has no use for them. And so, that, along with other things, is why Officer Leaf has decided to seek help from Lord Ren.

  
"Sir? Sir? Are you aw-" And with a gentle whoosh, the doors opened.

  
"Yes, officer? What is it?" The commander asked, mask off, eyes focused on his boyfriend's hair. He was playing with it, but of course, the Force let him see where he had no eyes, and sensed them by the door.

  
"May I request to speak with you in private?"

  
"Sure," and with a sigh, he got up from his seat on the bed, and ushered Leaf into the kitchen. Leaf, drained, had no trouble meeting his eyes.

  
"Can you do me a favor, Kylo?"

  
"Depends. What is it?" The switch from superior to friend was immediate. His posture relaxed, he slouched a bit, dark eyes softening.

  
"Can you kill me?"

  
"...What?"

  
"Can you kill me? Please?"

  
"N..no. You are a valued member of the Or-"

  
"No, I'm not, Kylo. You know I'm replaceable, there are at least 50 others that could do my job better, and don't worry about losing a friend. We both know you wouldn't miss me."

  
"What of Phasma? How would she feel about your death?"

  
"...she has already walked in on me, five times, with bloodied arms and blades in my hands. The psytechs can't really restrict my private purchases. Plus, I always keep an extra. Always. I'm quite sure she hates me, I'd hate me, so I don't blame her. She has since gotten mad at me and kicked me out of her quarters. I'm sorry, sir," they sighed. Tired. So tired.

  
"Oh. I was... Unaware of this. Still, I know why she is mad at you. She, along with a few other officers, find you to be quite repulsively selfish."

  
"I know. People tend to think generally, that I'm repulsive."

  
"I'm aware. But I don't see it. S-"

  
"Cut it. I don't want to be told I'm wonderful or a good friend. I'm not. You don't need me around."

  
"Why are you so insistent on dying?"

  
"Because when my own girlfriend won't dump me because she doesn't want rumors to spread, you kind of start to hate yourself. And that's it. That's the only reason why we're still a public item."

  
"Really? That, I couldn't tell."

  
"Well, I guess the Force can only be so powerful. But could you please just agree to kill me?"

  
"There is no other way of convincing you, is there?"

  
"No. If there were, you'd have tried it."

  
"Good point. Fine. Meet me in my training room tomorrow morning by no later than 09:00, or I won't do it."

  
"Fair. Sleep well, Kylo."

  
"Oh, and if you have goodbyes to say, do so soon. Sleep well, Leaf."

  
"I will, don't worry."

 

* * *

  
"Marlene? Hey. I'm sorry for waking you this late. Just, uh, give me a good hug."

  
"Why?"

  
"Just- do. You'll appreciate it."

 

* * *

  
Beep! Beep! Wake up! Get up! YOU PIECE OF SCUM, WAKE U-

"Oh, how I love my custom alarm sound," they mumbled, pressing the snooze button. Blearily, they looked to the small screen of the clock. "08:00," it read. Good, an hour early. They could give Phasma the note, then.

* * *

Leaf, dressed in their uniform, walked solemnly down the halls to the Captain's quarters. They didn't even have to look up much, they knew the way by heart. The only up side to their situation. Pausing in front of the door, Leaf greeted the storm trooper standing by her door.

  
"Good morning, BE-9970, how are you today?"

  
"I'm doing well, sir. You?" At this, Leaf flinched, and then zoned out, looking at the wall.

  
"Sir?"

  
"S-sorry. I'm fine. I just- I just need to get more sleep. Sorry," they mumbled, eyes dropping.

  
"Oh. My condolences. I assume you're here to speak with the captain?"

  
"Mhm. Sorry to bother you so early, by the way."

  
"It's alright. I hope all is well," Bear (the nickname the two came up with) responded, opening the door, and nodding to Leaf. Who smiled weakly and gave a thumbs up. Upon hearing the doors hiss and close, they wandered a little farther, before waiting, and knocking on the wall, listening to the sound reverberate throughout the residence, before an irritated shout replied. Leaf flinched, and wrapped their arms around them self. The tall blonde strode into the room, glaring at the smaller officer. If looks could kill, Leaf wouldn't have had to talk to Kylo yesterday.

"What do you want, you filthy, suicidal, attention seeking rat?" Phasma snarled, eyes narrowed.

  
"I... Have a note.. For you. I'm sorry I've been such a burden. Here, take it, and I'll leave you alone forever," they whimpered, handing the paper to her, hand shaking.

  
"What's this? An apology? I don't need it," Phasma laughed, harshly and dryly.

  
"No, it's just... Read it. Please. Good bye," Leaf murmured, scurrying out of the captain's quarters, tears threatening to spill down their cheeks. They checked their wristwatch- 8:30. Time to head to the training room. There isn't anything to miss in the world, for Leaf.

* * *

Officer Leaf knocked once on the door, waiting for it to open. Seconds later, it did, revealing Kylo Ren sitting on the floor, holding his lightsaber, deactivated, in his right hand.

  
"Good morning, Leaf. You're early," he sighed, standing up and looking down at them.

  
"Mhm. Didn't want to have any second thoughts, so hear I am," they laughed.

  
"Are you sure you're ready? For this?"

  
"Yes. Please, just, stop me. Rip through me with your saber, cut me in half. Whatever. I just want it to all stop," they pleaded, head facing the floor.

  
"I'll make it... Fitting. A permanent, working solution," Kylo said, turning on his lightsaber, the crackle of it filling the room- oddly calming to Leaf. He opened their shirt to expose the skin just above their heart, and smiled grimly at them.

  
"I'm sorry that I've failed you, Kylo," they sighed, feeling the sizzling blade plunge into their chest. Immediately, the smell of burnt flesh, organ and bone filled the room. A bit of the blood splattered out, staining Leaf's shirt. The feeling of the blade tearing through their body was bizarre, but intense, and enjoyable. The blade hissed and fizzled, tiny sparks occasionally singing their clothes, leaving tiny holes in their wake. The clothing would look like it had come from a horror film, if it were ever removed from their body. That brought light amusement to their fading conscious. 

Kylo, in turn, watched as the color slowly faded from their skin, eyes blank, life-force shimmering, and fading away. The pain that they felt before dying- it was beautiful. It surged through their body, the sensation wrapping around them. By focusing their mind on the pain, they felt it more intensely, the found in the seconds that they experienced it. Leaf's last moments of life were spent in immense physical pain- but that felt so much better than the pain that they felt daily. Phasma's problem had been solved. It was a permanent solution, and one that worked wonderfully. Finally, after 20 years of suffering, Leaf was free.

**Author's Note:**

> :^) nobody is ok in my fics


End file.
